Where to start?… No seriously, where do I start, I really have no idea. I’m out of it’ whatever it may be, and not just generally either, I’m talking in a grande scheme of things, if I could right now I would impersonate Kevin Kline in an arduous manner. I haven’t blogged for over a year, (excluding the previous post) well close to a year, and there’s quite a bucket load of thoughts stories and general hoo-hah, floating around “up in yo’ windows” that I need to be gettin’ of my chest. Even though the last two posts are on my blog and I ‘blogged’ them, I did take heavy influence from other peoples editorials so in a sense, I feel a little like a stole the idea and therefore are not really want I would want to say, so I shall delete them. *puts on a brave face* It’s been an amazing year for me I’m now the proud father of a baby boy, Quinn.
As of late I’m still hunting down work, I question myself on a weekly basis as to what I feel I could be doing with myself If i had been given at least some form of guidance, whilst growing up. I didn’t even care about our works experience whilst i was at school, i wish now I had leaned in a general direction that would have at least benefitted me in some shape or form. It’s never to late though, and I know with a little perseverance and initiative I can be well on my way to doing something I can make a living from and that I would enjoy doing to put bread and butter on the table.
Perseverance is an awkward spelling. Who’s to say that you can’t Triumph with a job that you like, life doesn’t have to be as dull as your average joe bloggs makes it out to be. I’m going to apply this ideology to a couple of living methods over the next couple of months, who’s to say that just because work at the minute is dodgy as hell, and I know you lot know how hard it is just to get a bog standard retail / bar / call centre job now days, its not what you know, it’s who you know and how you go about approaching the role. This attitude comes from listening to a pop song to much, this one yes I know its by that dude from Fall out Boy, but If I’m honest, even though Patrick is the least punky one in the band, he’s been my favourite, while on the subject, I actually like Fall out Boy a bit to much, I just hate Pete Wentz with a passion, .. don’t get me started.. anyhoo, So I have a man crush on Patrick Stump, and so when I heard that he was going to continue to make some tunes after FOB had broken up I was intrigued, when he said he was naturally going to lean towards his style of singing soul, I was put off, however.. I found his EP on Spotify and it’s what I expected, soulful R&B with an attitude, but one song stands out for me and it’s ‘Spotlight’. Spotify, Spotlight, yady-yada. The song is about taking whatever life gives you and appreciating it with a finer degree of detail, to the extent as to where you can put yourself in your own limelight with a Danny Kaye , Walter Mitty-esque like look on life, Believe in something with such bravado that you shouldn’t have any problems believing it’s possible. From listening to the song I cam to realize that when I was listening to it, I was actually noticing how I assess my life, and thus started thinking about applying a lifestyle trait as soon as feasibley possible. With Quinn in the picture now things are going to get serious, I can’t help but question my position with two kids and no real job, it’s just not something really worth talking about, a taboo subject for me if you like, but like I’ve been saying it’s not the end of the world, all I need to do is start concentrating on the bigger picture and not taking things to seriously.
I would like to thank everyone who congratulated me on the birth of Quinn, (the few that you were) It was a natural birth, and it was one of the most traumatizing things I’ve ever witnessed, and I didn’t feel a thing, well, my hand was broken but that’s obviously nothing in comparison to what the other party had to undergo that day, I distinctly remember being covered in sweat, and mucus, and it stunk, but in the end it’s all worth it, when a cute little worm like creature pops out making that distressed noise they make (like they’re struggling to breathe) strangely Quinn didn’t cry for very long, he cried for about 2 minutes, maybe a minute and a half, then he was tidied up and cleaned, I got asked if I would like to cut the cord, this is something I now regret, not for any real reason other than that of the fact that the dad is supposed to do that kind of thing, and I was actually there for the birth of my son, my dad was at a football match, mind you I did bail on Ellies birth only due to stress. Quinn was tidied up and popped in a towel and placed in my arms, did I say popped in a towel, I meant pooped in a towel.
Was it emotional, yes it was, did I cry? Of course I did.
I’ll be looking for a Photography friends, to come and take some nice piccies, before he gets to old, and I’m sure I know plenty who can give me some mates rates
I haven’t really blogged since February so I thought I should put some things out there as soon I’m looking to start treating this blog which started of like a mini free website, as more of an actual blog/website, about me, I don’t really know what I’m doing with the whole domain malarkey, but I’m sure it’s a learning curve that i can enjoy, since I love design and the blog is really the worlds window into my life. The reason I’m starting to dedicate more time to the blog is because I’m just generally starting to loose appreciation for social networks, .. not the websites themselves but the people that divulge in the system, ironic I think, considering I started blogging on MySpace and moved to here for more freedom. Speaking of MySpace, Last month was a landmark month for me on the internet, I deleted my MySpace account, the social network that’s unexceptionably good at sidetracking teens lifestyle choices, yes the website that is personally responsible for my grades dropping at college, MY_____ is gone. It took a chunk out of my life, I won’t deny that, but it’s where my infatuation with web started, yes Tagworld, Hi5, Friendster were all around, and on the blog front, there was live journal and such, but the only site that really combined the two was MySpace, blogging in a social network, heck even Facebook never really pulled that off.. Notes, please? I started to get addicted to blogging when I was on MySpace because it was the one element of the site which didn’t really require any feedback from people, it was just nice if you got some, and in doing so this allowed me to escape from the world for a little while whilst continuing to indulge in literary gems. Whilst it was fun blogging away and managing my profiles look’ I realized that without actually intending to do so, I was starting to learn HTML, sadly now MySpace seems to stick to recurring themes of php and css so to me it makes people profiles look the same and uninteresting, I wanted to keep my HTML ‘olds cool’ look. I started getting bored of Myspace when I realized that nobody uses it anymore, that and well complete slags continue to use it, but even so, I’d had it for 8 years so it was, as sad as this sounds dear to me and it was a struggle to get rid of it.
With Google plus just out and on fire, at the speed of growth (18 million users in 3 weeks) it seemed like a logical choice to get rid of Myspace, when I look at my blog, in the side bar, it’s cluttered with loads of social networks, heck even ones I don’t use, like my Opera page, yep the web browser Opera has a built in social network, sort of aimed at developers and for reasons be known to myself I felt inclined to create an account, just so I can have another socially amused concept of a network, that well, nobody uses. I’m going to focus on myself from now on and anyone who feels the need to comment on things I produce will be met with high regards, as I’m surrounded by creative types and I continually decide to lounge around, not pursuing what I know I’m capable of, nodding my head towards art ofcourse, (lets not do the music talk, cheers) I have to acknowledge that decent art can not be rushed, yet this philanthropic look on the matter goes in one ear and out the other, when I pick up a pencil, I expect near instant perfect results and it’s just not how any self respecting artist approaches a project, everything has layers, much like mixing music tracks, same priciple, heck, that’s why photoshop has ‘layers’.
Like I said I want to start focusing on art and stop wasting my time trying to fully complete every video game I own (damn you OCD), I’ve already blasted about 40 days into MW2, which in itself is 1050 hours, heck.
I’m going to start focusing on CGI, I’ve been playing with Mudbox and 3d max for a while, and I started teaching myself Maya, but ultimately its the entire process of sculpting a model beforehand and spending time with the lighting that can really blow people away. I’ve been spending time on CGHUB and cgsociety and it’s been rejuvenating my love of Digital Art, and I intend to pursue it over the coming months!
New Blog soon!